• Stacy Ayiers

How To Stay In A Happy Relationship


When you see those couples out still holding hands, laughing and enjoying each other you just know they are happy. When you see a happy couple there is something about their elegance and vibe that lets everyone around them know how they feel about each other without even speaking a word. They can be in their 30's or 60's but everyone can tell.

When you see these couples it isn't because they have only had to deal with fun and exciting stuff. It is because they actually take the time to work on their relationship. Any relationship takes work but a committed couple's relationship can be intense and needs a lot of work. Here are some areas you can double check to make sure you remain happy or get there if you want to keep your relationship.

1. Work on your relationship- Don't let issues fester. When you notice something your partner is doing that will eventually drive you up a wall talk about it and discuss how to resolve the issue. Make sure if something is bring presented to you that you take responsibility and see your partners point-of-view.

2. Be on the same page- The deeper your connection to each other the more you will feel a togetherness. Know that the infatuation you shared in the beginning of the relationship will fade. Make sure you both agree on the relationship terms (long-term, future-focused, next steps in life). If one of you wants to get married but the other one doesn't see that in their future - you will run into several issues. Be realistic in time frames and work with each other for results you both will be happy with.

3. Appreciate each others differences- You are you and they are them. Don't try to change each other that is the reason you are together in the first place. Feed off each others differences and respect them. One person may enjoy entertaining while the other is a home body. Try to fit in both aspects so both of you are equally happy. Don't try to make the other person stop being who they are by doing what you want them to do.

4. Spend time with each other- This may seem unnecessary to say but once you get in a relationship you have to maintain it. Spend quality time together. Do an activity that you both love. When you spend time together you build a bond that allows you to get to know each other physically and emotionally. Leave the kids, pets and friends and just hang out with each other.

5. Spend time apart- Although it is nice to spend time together don't ditch all your friends and family. Make time to do things apart so that when you are together you appreciate it. It is perfectly healthy to have time to be you. This will allow you to do things you like but your partner doesn't and you don't loose a sense of self.

6. Communication is key- Make sure that no matter what you talk to each other about feelings, goals, interest, and issues. Listen without prejudice, interruption and judgement. By doing this you won't start a conversation already thinking you know the outcome. This allows you to be fully focused and listening to your partner. The best thing about communication is coming up with a solution. When you communicate with your partner you eliminate festering issues or concerns and leave out the third-party issues.

7. Don't tell your business- Venting to your friends or family about a few typical relationship issues will happen, however, don't discuss any "big" issues you and your partner are having with anyone else. They will only hear your side and create a dis-like or disrespect for your partner. Then once your issue is resolved they may judge one or both of you for it. (This doesn't apply to abuse. If you are being abused seek help immediately). People will give you advice based on their personal experiences and not based on your relationship.

8. Be honest- Being open and honest will help build trust. Trusting your partner is essential to being in a relationship. Without it you will always cast doubt and therefore ruin your relationship. Share the things they don't want to hear as well as the things you think they should hear. Honestly doesn't mean tell them everything they do you don't like. It also means congratulating them on a job well-done. If you appreciate something they did tell them. If you were hurt by something they did tell them. Couples are most happy with they are honest and upfront with each other.

9. R-E-S-P-E-C-T- Respecting your partner means valuing their opinion, telling them how you feel and not taking them for granted. Some relationships turn bad because you expect your partner to do something like they are supposed to. Remember they do things because they want to not because they have to. Be mindful of their schedules, time and values. Tell them you appreciate them often and if you are in love an occasional "I love you" will go a long way when you mean it.

10. Don't try to change them- When you meet someone you fall for their, looks, character, personality and everything about them that makes them who they are. Don't get with them expecting to change how they dress, do their hair or interact with other people. If you want them to stop doing something make an effort to help them without being overbearing about it. Address the issue but make it clear that you want what is best for them. For example: if you partner smokes and you don't - if this bothers you that should've been addressed in the beginning of the relationship but allow them to smoke outside of the house without complaint just let them know how you feel once and offer support if they wish to quit. If they don't do something you want them to do such as clean try cleaning yourself and asking them for help doing something. Don't complain about it or make them feel bad for not doing it. They will see your effort and start to help.

11. Realize that somethings can't be fixed- Sometimes you have to agree to disagree. Don't waste each others time arguing about it make a compromise and figure out what will work. Couples stand the test of time being happy with what they do agree on and realize that they will not agree on everything. There is always a compromise and a solution if you are willing to work together to get it.

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About Me

Writing has always been my passion. I graduated from Arizona State University in 2010 with a bachelor’s in mass communication and journalism and in 2013 with a master’s degree in criminal justice. I've written four books, blog post and numerous articles for magazines and newspapers.  My blog post are created to inspire, motivate and encourage others to remain true to their heart and go after their dreams. 

"When writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen," Harley Davidson

 

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© 2017 Stacy Ayiers -A Journalistic View    - SJ Media Productions