In more cases than people realize there is a tension between the new comer (girlfriend or boyfriend) and the family. Some may not like the person based on their appearance, while others don't like the way they treat you. In any case this is hard and the question then becomes family or relationship.
There is no one way to determine if you pick your family over your new relationship or vice versa but here are 5 questions to ask yourself before deciding.
1) Does your family do this with everyone you bring around? If they do then no one will ever be good enough for you and you have to determine what is more important your happiness or theirs. If they don't do it often then think about why they may feel this way. Is this person different than you're normal, do they want better for you or has something specific happened to trigger this discomfort?
2) Do you talk bad about your partner in front of your family? This is a big thing for people who want to vent to family then realize they want to stay with their partner. If you tell your family negative things about them, although you have made up with them - your family may not feel the same way. It is easier for them to hold a grudge because it isn't their relationship. Stop telling them negative things about your partner until you know 100% you're done dating them. This will eliminate the dislike. If you're currently going through this, depending on the issue time will allow your family to come around, but you can't tell them anything else negative.
3) Does your partner show little respect to your family? This is similar to #2. If you tell your partner negative things about family members they tend to hold that against them as if it were their issues. They want to protect you and help you feel safe, in which, they will show less respect to the family member you have told them about. So be careful, in the beginning, with how you describe your family to your new relationship.
4) Is this relationship going anywhere? If you like the person, but don't see any long term relationship then stop taking them around your family. There is no reason to put either side in that situation. Most people bring their new love interest around because they want to build the family bond and relationships. If you know for a fact that this is just for fun and you will move on eventually, don't put your family through the drama. It may be fun for you, but irritating for them.
5) What about my partner is most disliked? When everyone says the same thing it can be something you don't see because the relationship is fresh and new. Take a moment and hear their opinion and then your partners opinion and decide if this is something that will fade or grow into stronger dislike.
Overall, you are the one that decides your relationship status and fate. If you want to be with someone because they genuinely make you happy your family will understand that because they love you. This is one of the hardest decisions to make in life so think about it and ask yourself if you were in their shoes (partner and family) how would you feel?
Please leave a comment if you have been in this situation and have figured out how to make it work.
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