When you begin a relationship and everyone starts seeing you together or when you get married you're now considered a 2-piece deal. When one is invited so is the other one. It's now a "them" instead of "she" or "he". You can easily get lost in the couples life, however; to be completely happy in couples bliss, you must first be able to understand who you are. You must be personally happy to be happy in any relationship. People forget who they are and become one. I am not saying be separate. I am saying have personal happiness and the relationship happiness will follow. Here are 5 ways to personal happiness while in a relationship.
1) Be secure in yourself, therefore being secure in your relationship. If you can honestly look at yourself in the mirror and know you're worth and make others around you including your partner, realize your value that is worth more than a million dollars. Security elevates insecurities, trust issues, bad judgement, negative self talk and worth issues. Know who you are and what your value is and everyone else will too.
2) Focus on the positive things about you. It is so easy to focus on that scare you hate, or the pimple that always comes back. Today start focusing on the things you LOVE about yourself. Find anything and focus on that. Enhance that aspect of your body. If you have beautiful eyes tell yourself how beautiful they are and focus on that when you get up instead of the negative. When you start putting positive energy into yourself others will too. Stop telling people what you don't like about yourself and tell them what you love about yourself. They will stop noticing the negative. When you're in a relationship your partner already knows what you look like. They love things about you so they don't need to focus on the negative.
3) Have positive talks with yourself. When you communicate with others you let them know how you're feeling. When you inner talk yourself it is usually to second guess yourself or some random thoughts of negative vibes you've been juggling all day. Start taking 5-10 minutes a day to tell yourself positive things. Not just about yourself, but others. you deal with on a daily basis. This world is hooked on drama and negativity and it draws you in, even with yourself. Create a different vibe for the inner you.
4) Get to know who you truly are. When you can determine what things make you happy, sad, mad, irritated or confused, then you can control your feelings. For example, if being around smoke makes you irritable then you should stay away from those types of social events. If you know getting up at 9am instead of 6am to get your day started causing you to feel rushed then get up at 6am. I am the type of person that if I have a lot to do the following day, I try to take a nice hot shower, meditate, and get to bed early so I can get up early and start my day to get everything done. I know that if I stay up late, wake up late and rush to start a project or TODO list I will be upset with myself and irritating to those around me. You have to be able to know what works for you. This is extremely important in a relationship because we get complacent with how others do things and wonder why we are not feeling ourselves.
5) Never sway from your hardcore values. When you truly believe in something and others around you don't it can be hard to maintain that focus. Stay true to who you are and never let anyone derail you from your hardcore values such as, loyalty, commitment, religion, etc. If you are a true believer that talking negative behind someones back is not loyal to them, which it isn't, and you find yourself doing it with people or a certain someone, then let them know that isn't you. You have to be direct and let people know exactly who you are.
When you have personal happiness then others around you can see it and they appreciate it. People don't have to agree with your values, feelings or the way you do things as long as they respect them. Being in a relationship is already a commitment of two people agreeing to engage in life together. Just make sure you don't loose the real you while engaging. My fiance and I have explored scenarios most people wouldn't even imagine, but we get though it because we know who we are individually and as a couple. We can compliment each other and agree to disagree. One important thing I've learned with him is no one has to win or loose, we just have to make a choice that accommodates both of us. Life is a journey filled with options and choices. The first choice should always be personal happiness. I used our photos for this blog because it was one of our moments of sheer personal happiness mixed with our relationship happiness.
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