Cheating isn't the number one reason for divorce, money is, but it's high on the chart. According to Divorce Magazine, 40-50% of women and 50-60% of men engage in extra marital affairs. Some choose to stay together and others simply divorce after the heartbreaking news has been uncovered. No one gets married to get divorced. When you think about it what are you cheating for? The attention, attraction, intimacy, respect, or intense new feelings that arise can be created in any relationship. If you feel you need to cheat to get what you desire, cheat on your spouse with your spouse.
We've all experienced the first date when emotions are high, things seem intense and you can't wait to see that person again. It's a common "something new" feeling that creates excitement in us. We want to look a certain way, smell great, we wake up early and stay up late. You pick up the phone wondering if that person has reached out to you, smiling when you see they have sent you a text or left a message.
The desire to cheat and keep it quiet dates back further than I can find data for. Divorce rates are high and the "open relationships" don't work for everyone and barely work for those doing them.
Try something hundreds of couples are learning in couples therapy. Cheating on your spouse with your spouse allows you to feel the things you would in the early stages of your relationship with the person you love. Send a text late at night asking them to meet you for dinner or a movie the next day after work. Dress up and meet in one of the places you did when you first started talking. Get a hotel room and meet each other pretending to have snook away from your spouse. Look up new and mysterious ways to "creep" with your mate keeping the energy alive and new.
Don't bring any "home" stuff with you on these dates. You can't talk about bills, children, work, or anything that would trigger an argument or "back to reality" moment. These engagements are only for meeting and sneaking around.
When you create the intimacy and thrill is thrown back into your relationship you have a better chance of bonding and building together. This may not work for relationships with years of devastation and pain, but it won't hurt to give it a try. You may find yourself back on that first date wondering where everything went wrong and how you would do anything to start over again.
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