By no means does this post degrade the current relationship I am in with my fiance. In fact, it allows others to see that life is a journey of choices and destinations we take and how we overcome and survive things. Today, 7 years ago, the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with was killed in the parking lot of a Taco Bell by strangers. We have never found the killers and today I want to thank the man I am with for being patient, kind and understanding.
Love isn't something that you feel and when a person leaves or dies that feeling goes away. When you really care and love someone you have choices to make.
In 2013, my life changed and I'd decided that I would never marry again, however, by 2017, I was dating a man that was fully aware of my situation. Then got engaged in 2019. Here are things we did to understand each other and be able to build our relationship:
1) Time: We gave each other time to get over things that impacted our lives. Some things you will never get over, but become more bearable each day. Don't take each others healing time for granted. One day can be great, while another hard to take.
2) Gratefulness: Being grateful for the help of another person speaks volumes. Be grateful for what you and your partner can offer each other and help with. It could be a talk, a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on.
3) Respect: Showing each other respect allows you to tell them and show them they are appreciated in your life.
4) Communication: Having talks even when the topics are difficult allows you to let your partner in. If you can't do that they will not know what to expect or help you with.
5) Truthfulness: It can be hard to tell someone how you truly feel, especially if it is negative, but being truthful in a relationship helps to tear down walls and builds open communication, trust and respect for each other.
Life allows us to live and experience things we never thought possible. Death opens our eyes to the moments we shared with loved ones. The in between of love is about building your legacy while you're here and loving the ones in your life.
Although today isn't a great memory, it allows me to think of a love I once shared with a man who my heart once belonged and appreciate the man who has held me in the mist of getting through those thoughts. Love and relationships have no real guaranteed system simply because everyone is different, but know this.............. they are worth having.
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